Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
