): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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