she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
