I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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