White coat. Heels.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
