Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
