lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You need Xanax blowdarts
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
