HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
