My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
