love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
