also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
