I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
