I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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