You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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