Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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