You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
