Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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