You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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