Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
where does the pee come out of this thing
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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