How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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