Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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