Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
