I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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