Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my vag is so smooth its legendary
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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