3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Randomize
