I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
