he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
