Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
