Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
