i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
