He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize