i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
