I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think a kid would responsible me up
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
