then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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