you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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