You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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