Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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