i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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