hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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