It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
