Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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