Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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