I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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