That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
