walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
