just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
