Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
