I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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