drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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