Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize