we have officially lost it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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