It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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