Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
