Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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