just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You are a genius and a whore.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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