you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
