So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So. Much. Porn.
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