Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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