you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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