So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
