Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
