I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
