is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
